Empathy to Children

When Children are going through big emotions, give them empathy first. they are still developing the ability to control their impulse, or to express their emotions verbally, or to understand their emotions.

• Give Children compassion before doing anything.

E.g (20/08/2020) S cried when I did not let him play with another child on the same activity, for this is meant to be one-person’s. The minute I said No, he cried and got down, with hands pulling my body. Seeing this, I was a bit worried that this would be a scene. Luckily, love defeated fear.

I asked him if he needed a hug, he nodded immediately. Once he sat on my lap, he gradully stopped crying. There was no words in the whole time, not even something comforting. But I was able to remain calm and patience, waiting for him to get back his senses.

If he couldn’t get to do the thing he wanted to do, at least there was a place for him to cry.

When he calmed down, it did not take much efforts for him to go back to activities.

(I could have used this opportunity to coach him how to self comfort. He knows that it is the rule, but might not know how to deal with his frustration. For instance, we can distract our attention by doing something else; we can wait for the friend to finish the activity so we can play together; we can do something different while we are waiting for the friend)

Children need to be taught how to distract themselves, how to control their impulse, how to self sooth.